late onset liberalism

I am usually a political shrug-of-the-shoulders type, it's evident in a lot of my blogs. However, I am rapidly metamorphosing into a throw-them-'bows liberal. Its peculiar timing since I have had so many conversations lately discussing how I've learned to love some dear friends who have their feet firmly planted, nay, cemented on the far right. I always figured that one day I would be hailed to "draw the line somewhere" and today, that line has been drawn.

Fact: I would rather NEVER see a woman in the White House than see Sarah Palin anywhere NEAR it (including public tours). Sure, it would be "historic" to have a woman VP, but in this context, isn't the historicity rooted in a technical detail, minutiae? What's the fucking difference if this woman's ideology is simply mantaining the conservative dynasty that has had a chokehold over this country? I would be no more impressed if a pro-life, pro-gun, homophobic centaur was on the ticket. Sarah Palin has minimal foreign policy experience (or 'porn fallacy' as i just freudian slipped), she is a homeschooling creationist (which scares me as a future educator) and she is an advocate of drilling for oil in the Alaskan Wilderness (a temporary solution to a very permanent crisis). I hope that the women voters who supported Hillary solely because she is a woman do not slip so deeply into naivete that they support McCain solely because of his running mate's gender. I'd like to think that the bloc of dispossessed Hillary supporters are a little smarter than that, but at this point, not much would shock me.

So to my friends and colleagues who are trumpeting the historical nomination of Sarah Palin, I ask you this:

If John McCain (who has been able to get the senior citizens discount at IHOP for 17 years now) was incapacitated, would you feel safe knowing that Sarah Palin was in control of the country? I would rather grant executive power to this fine lady.

I think that Sarah Palin should stick to beauty pageants and salmon fishing.

That said, an acquaintance posted something on myspace citing Palin's experience with the fishing industry as evidence of her qualifications. One, the fishing industry is like the oil industry: global commercial fisheries have been overfished and there's no quick fix. I'm curious to know if Palin has a plan for that. Furthermore, the second-largest commercial fishery in the US is in Massachusetts, where the majority of Maine fisherman market their catches. If you want a female Republican from some obscure, cold podunk fishing state as your running mate, I can think of not one, but TWO better choices: Maine's US Senators Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, both of whom have decades of experience in Washington.

(photo borrowed from theimproper.)

graduate school

With everyone going back to school right now, I can't help but desire this one thing: to go back and do it all over again, only better.

Maybe I will end up going to get my PhD after all. Right now, my MA feels about as worthless as my BA.

Of course, when I got my BA, I obsessed over the implausible desire to go back and do THAT again too.

Now that I think about it, I wish I could do high school over, as well.

All these desired do-overs/revisions would be done with more effort, more studying, less anxiety disorder, less Labatt's Blue Light.

I know it doesn't matter in the big picture: when my MA was conferred, I had a 3.9 GPA. I pulled a 3.6 for undergrad. For all intents and purposes, there isn't much tangible evidence that i should have tried harder . Yet I feel like I have to keep going on to the next academic tier just to prove that I can be better.

I am a slave to my mistakes.

fun in my hoopdie, grandma edition

WPR (lacking in all vision-related faculties): Ooh, what are those pretty beads hanging from your mirror?
ME: Those? Those are just crappy plastic Mardi Gras beads, Nan.
WPR: You went to Mardi Gras?
ME: No, you find 'em lots of places.
WPR: Well if they're so crappy, why would you buy them?
ME: I didn't buy them.
WPR: So people just give them to you?
ME: Uh, something like that.
WPR: Well, I learn something new every day. I don't know what I'd do without you keep me 'with it'

IDIOT.

i have been so busy i didn't know that a second madonna show had been added at the Garden. and that the tickets when onsale today. and yet again I missed out on the cheap seats. really though, i want to CRY. yes, i know its completely trivial and not the end of the world, especially with high gas prices and the fact that apparently i am eating healthfully now, although I almost went postal at WF again today over the cost of goat cheese. i'm gonna switch over to EZ Cheez for now on. I will forsake chevre if i can get my hands on Madonna tickets without being mugged by StubHub. The tickets for the newest date on there are where we sat for the Confessions tour, the ever-coverted "behind the stage" seats, where the best view was of the back of the projection screen. I will not make that mistake again, thanks. the funny thing is, after the first time i missed the onsale date, i obsessively checked ticketmaster, madonna.com and madonnalicious 3-5 times a day to see if a second show had been added. and then finally, i lost my resolve and gave up. lesson learned, mr. perseverence, thanks.


ALSO, I just noticed that Uh Huh Her is going to be at the Roxy in Boston this October. I missed the boat when they played in TO: by the time i went for tickets they were going for about $100 on Craigslist. Basically, I need the refund from those deadbeat movers in ASAP.

formatting

As you've probably noticed, I've been playing around with my blog color scheme. Turns out all that white print on the black background was not only un-cool, but it also strained people's eyes. Sorry about that. Now, I'm trying to find something readable that doesn't look completely cheesy. So right now I'm sticking with the white background, but since Labor Day is forthcoming, I'll need some suggestions.

what began as thoughtful commentary ended up (un-)surprisingly shallow.

Just sitting here looking at my "Ellen and Portia's wedding"-edition of People magazine and all I can think about is how much has changed just since I was in high school. It's funny that I wrote "just since" because i was in high school ten years ago. Anyway. I've written about this many times and it was the subject of my MA thesis (which I'll repost) but I'll state again that I would still much rather have been a gay teenager now than in 1998. Its shocking how normal it was to see this magazine cover on the newsstands. This image and fairytale wedding story would have provided me so much comfort as a chubby teenager convinced I was condemned to a life of "Closer to Fine" and Carhartts (not that there's anything wrong with that). There was always this tug between the predominant lesbian identities i was exposed to then and the juxtaposition of what I guess should be called the mainstream. How liberating it would have been to see affirmation that gay people could be publicly accepted (at least by the liberal media, yipee!) but also, more importantly, goofy lesbians who can't dance could still bag a hot chick (oh relax, it was a joke...kinda!).

I just had to take a moment to remind myself not to take my L Word and Lindsay Lohan & Samantha Ronson gossip for granted. Maybe this Pop Queering has distracted shallow people like myself away from 'the issues' but hey, at least I am not so fucking ashamed of myself.

And on the subject of being shallow, in a recent post, Heather @ Dooce (not shallow herself, awkward syntax on my part) had a post revising her celebrity bang allowance (original post here). Anyway, it got me thinking about mine. As Brenna wryly noted, its really hard to get me to narrow down. I should at least grant myself a baseball lineup. OR MAYBE A FOOTBALL TEAM. I could do just the defensive line? In 1998, my list was all lesbian folksingers and probably Mia Hamm. Now?

1. Mary Louise Parker
2. Madonna
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Diane Lane
5. (tie) Allison Janney and Jennifer Beals. I cheated the system.

Now, judge me. Also, Dooce had asked her readers what their lists were... and now I will ask you, at least it will give me some idea who you freaks are :) xo

stuff i currently enjoy

Stuff that White People Like is an awesome website. i have the link on the sidebar.

I just walked out of Whole Foods and went to Hannaford because I couldn't consciously let myself get mugged by groceries. Sorry Mother Earth (you're the only mother I have and look how i treat you!). Sure, I wanna fit in with all the other organic-eaters but right now, guess what. I'm going to Hanny's because I don't want to be poor(er). I think it was the bread crumbs that sent me over the edge... like six bones for the amount of crumbs you'd shake out of a toaster you were cleaning. No thanks. Of course, you'll find me back at WF next time I'm shopping, provided I'm with my Jimminy Cricket GF.

Rock Band 2 looks sicknasty. I can't wait to get my hands on a PS3. Sure I'm pushing pushing thirty but I still love my video games. I miss Ev and our fake band dearly, and I want to do some online gaming with my brothers even though they'll pwn me like the n00b that I am (how'd I do, Mike??)

Also, on my "i want" list:


I still haven't had the chance to salivate over NESNHD but I can stop jonesin' in about an hour. I probably could have caught a game by now but I have been too busy watching the entire new season of Weeds. I'm pretty sure my culture-junkie ass watched all of season four thus far in one night. My celebrity MILF du jour is by far Mary Louise Parker (who I LOVED as Amy Gardner on the West Wing...and in Boys on the Side... and Saved!...I still haven't seen Angels In America... ) I had never actually watched Weeds until this year... until I realized that show is fucking hilarious and brilliantly written. I hate to sound ignorant but despite many recommendations from trusted sources, I wrote it off as some dumb show about stoners.

Now that I have talked about my new love for Weeds, I suppose this isn't completely gratuitous. OK. On second though, I suppose that was pretty gratuitous. Sorry (not really).

On the serious side of the world, it's been really good to be here and to reconnect with the people that matter. There is always something to do....and i think i am doing a pretty good job picking and choosing social endeavors (you know, i am a very important person....) Now, i was going to carry on about this but B just came home and we have some dinner to make with my affordable non-organic groceries. And it will be delicious.

you can't believe things because they're a lovely idea

In my last post I made a comparison between my beloved grandmother and Lady Marchmain from Brideshead Revisited . This similarity was fresh in my mind, as we had just shared an awkward viewing of Julian Jerrold's recent film adaptation of the novel. Now, before I wax too analytical I need to revist (har har) Waugh's novel, and admittedly, I haven't seen the BBC miniseries. That disclosed, I find it necessary to rant a bit about the divergent interpretations my grandmother and I share, particularly in regards to the homoerotic subplot. Note: I have the novel in my hand, and I am going to reread it over the next few days. I will be bolstered with facts for the debates that may ensure herein.

While I was driving her home from her hair appointment the other day, W reminded me how terrible it was that I compared her to a "bitch" like Lady Marchmain. Restraining from anything too scathing and disrespectful, I replied "Well, her tendency to force feed her ideology to her family is what fragmented it's structure. Her closed-mindedness drove Sebastian to drink". After chewing on this argument for a while, she responded with "You know she didn't have a problem with Sebastian as a homsexual. She had a problem with the fact that he was an alcoholic".

At this point, I realized that she and I were entrenched in an interpretive chicken-egg quandary.

I argue that Sebastian was an escapist alcoholic, unhinged by the dissonance between his Catholicism (as practiced by his mother) and homosexual desire. My grandma argues that makes no sense, because "if Lady Marchmain had a problem with Sebastians' seuxal orientation, why would she ask Charles to be around to keep an eye on him". This statement strikes me first as incredibly obtuse, until I realize the 90 years of ideologies that inform her interpretations of any given text, and lament that these are most markedly evidenced by class blinders.

I think it is fairly obvious that Lady Marchmain wants Charles around because, clearly, Charles is NOT GAY. I'm using a pre-"Queer" binary here, partially because I'm discussing a pre-"Queer" narrative, and partially because the Queer trend in the academy is like that damn Feist song from the Apple commercials... I fucking LIKED (respected, appreciated) it until it was in my grill 24/7. But I digress. I haven't been in school for a while, so my textual analysis skills could be a little rusty, but i think its pretty obvious that while Charles and Sebastian share a profound homosocial bond, and do love each other, their expression of love is from different vantage points: mainly, for Sebastian it is in part sexual love. Charles, on the other hand, is more in love with the aristocratic grandeur that Sebastian represents and provides him access to. OBVIOUSLY.


So, when W tries to convince me that Lady M wanted them to be lovers, I can't help but become a little frustrated. To Lady M, Charles represents a significant area of opportunity: he is initially so eager to fit in, so fleeced by the desire for aristocracy, that he's willing to appease Lady M's demands. She wants Charles around to set a hetero example for her son... he is a much more suitable companion than, say, Anthony Blanche and the other more flaming gay lifers whom Sebastian was fraternizing with at Oxford. I told my grandma its the same reason why she is much happier with me dating pretty, polite femme girls who can easily pass for straight. Notably, she had nothing to say in response to this (because i was correct), and the rest of the ride home was silent.

A few days later, this whole debate recurred. Only this time, W asked me "now, who was Anthony Blanche?". After I explained, she said "Well, I didn't like any of those men from Oxford, either. They were too kooky . They weren't nice like Charles".

That's a quote. I find it MADDENING that she is completely oblivious to the homophobia implicit in this kind of perspective. I can't account for how these random archaic convictions can seep into an otherwise liberalized mind. Just as Charles took witness to the dwindling English aristocracy, I feel like every day of my life, I'm watching the swan song of authentic New England blue bloodedness. And I know that she is on the other side, lamenting the endangerment and pending extinction of principled people who didn't find it necessary to read queerness into every respectable text (because clearly it wasn't there to begin with. Homos can't be trusted with books or movies. They interpret it all gay-like).


(oh, post-scrpit, please don't think I am being a jerk for writing about my grievances with grandma. I love her and think she is wonderful. I'm not criticizing the whole person. Ever.)

tip of the update iceberg

Wow. I don't even know how to properly write about the past more or less MONTH of my life. I live in Maine now. That's the big thing, I suppose. Leaving Buffalo was easier/harder than I expected. I know, that hardly makes any sense. As my grandmother frequently reminds me, I am a complicated personality. That said, it was easier because in the last few weeks, I realized that I was doing NOTHING noteworthy there. After tutoring was over and I quit my ridiculous retail job, it became really clear that, as much fun as I had eating hot dogs and doing pretty much nothing, there was no time better than now to come home and be with my grandparents. When we came to look for an apartment in July it was really evident that their time in the land of the lucid is dwindling. And they have been very good to me. So here I am.

The thing that made leaving Buffalo a little heart-wrenching is that during the last month there, I made a concerted effort to filter through all the social detritus of three years and see that I cultivated some wonderful friendships out there in the Queen City. I spent some time with my friends from UB and was, and am still, wicked remorseful that those relationships fell to the wayside. The commiserative time we spent together also reinforced my decision not to apply to PhD programs, not yet and perhaps not ever. The insular academe is not quite my thing right now.

I miss L & E immensely. We had gotten into a routine of spending a couple nights a week together, and Ev really is one of the best friends I've made in a long time. They had a going away party for us before we left, and it was one of the most thoughtful gestures and one of the most fun nights I'd had in Buffalo for a long time. And it really showed who our friends were. And the funny thing is, I knew who they were all along, I just acted a fool trying to become chummy with everyone I met.



the cake L & E got us is perhaps one of the most creative and thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me. Also, I wish I did everything in my life with half the enthusiasm I had cutting the damn thing. Wheeeeeee! Sometime, I am (apparently) excessively happy!

Now that we're in Portland, things are weird. They've gotten better since we've already been here for two weeks, but I am still pretty uneasy about the social element. We've gone out to dinner with one of my closest friends, and it felt comfortable and gave me so much optimism of the relationships that i can rekindle back east... but then we went down to a bar and I was completely dismantled by the quantity of people I knew there and the disconnect I felt... it is going to take a long time before I stop feeling like a tourist in my past life, or a visitor in my hometown. There is a significant difference between who I was when I left three years ago, and who I am now. I have grown up immeasurably. My values have shifted. I am much more responsible. So that I don't completely freak out and nervously pick apart my cell phone (which i did) next time we go out, I think I need to first invest in rebuilding close friendships with the people I love and trust the most. The rest is all social white noise, anyway. There is just so much to DO around here, I need to calm down and realize we have all the time in the world.

I don't have all the time in the world with my grandparents, which is depressing as hell. The 9-2 gig at their house can be frustrating, but its also valuable time spent. I'm trying my best to be calm and patient, even though my grandmother reminds me of Lady Marchmain from Brideshead Revistited on the regular. Luckily, our only constant topic for debate these days is the fact that I would rather not eat a stick of butter, cup of sugar and 300, 000 grams of salt at every meal; nor do i really eat meat. Because their tastebuds are nearlya century old, my grandparents have a tendency to oversweeten/salt/butter their cuisine. I hope the fact that I am walking everywhere will impede the obesity/heart attack this kind of diet might yield (although my grandma stubbornly asserts that eating organic/vegetarian will yield a short life. Oh, sigh).

I need to choose my battles.

So we've been here two weeks and our stuff finally arrived. It was late. There was a leak in the truck so some of our stuff got water damage (and my cheap ass waived the insurance)... but I'm trying to keep a positive attutude about it and just unpack. It felt so nice to sleep in a bed last night after 13 nights on an air mattress that semi-deflated by morning. B is at work now, and I have to take Nan to a hair appointment in a few hours. I think this upcoming week will be the week where we finally settle into some kind of routine. It will be a relief for this city, this apartment, this new life we have made, to finally feel like home.

Also, I miss my Bravo TV. In a few days, though, the cable will be hooked up. And do you know what that means? I'll have NESN in HD. Hot!

I could probably write much, much more, but I have unpacking to do. I'll ask B if I can post a link to her Twitter. She is very good at chronicling the little moments we share, and it also functions as a highlight reel of Wilmaisms.

04102

we're here.
we're safe.
we're going to rosie's to watch the sox.
pretty soon i'll give you stalkers something more interesting to salivate over.
xo

I am watching Kathy Griffin instead of packing.

I am moving in 9 days and we haven't even really started packing. I am far too preoccupied with seeing everyone we need to see. I need to come to terms with the fact that I probably won't be able to give as many goodbye hugs as I would like, and I hope that people can forgive me for that.

Last weekend, we went to Ikea and got some decor for the new apartment, and then we went to Darien Lake with L and E to ride some roller coasters and apparently perpetuate my dangerous summer diet of coffee, beer and hot dogs. Speaking of hot dogs, I've finally realized that B has been scamming me for the past three years. I realized this at the italian festival last week. There was a dude walking around dressed as string cheese, so of course I wanted to pose for a picture with the string cheese guy. Like any humorless hipster, I feel compelled to take pictures with any human being dressed up as a mascot, as if, 50 times later, its still funny. That aside, we didn't have a camera person handy, and B said "But I want to take the picture TOGETHER". ok, now temporarily file this moment away . Then, yesterday, I received an amazing package in the mail: the 400 photos we sent to get developed, all out of order. So while B and I were sitting at the table, trying to piece together the chronology of the past 2 years in image form, i put the pieces together: we always take pictures with me. she is in almost every picture i have. so, if something catastrophic were to happen, and we broke up, THE ONLY PICTURES THAT WOULD REMAIN WERE OF ME, EATING HOT DOGS. for the rest of my life, 2005-? would be archived as the age of processed meat, nothing else. she is a smarter woman than I.

we never did get a picture with the string cheese.

anyway, Darien Lake was fun except we took a water ride first thing and got drenched... but once we adapted to the reality of wearing soaking wet jeans all day, we had fun. The roller coasters there aren't exactly hardcore, but at this point I don't think i can handle any more of a thrill.... after riding the wooden one twice, I honestly felt like someone beat me down with a 2X4. I am getting old.

We've also been watching TONS of movies during our down time:
The Bourne Trilogy (I still want to be a covert agent)
There Will Be Blood (Daniel Day Lewis was truly amazing)
No Country For Old Men (my expectations were too high)
The Other Boleyn Girl (skip it and watch The Tudors)
Persepolis (wonderful)
Rendition (I don't ever want to be tortured, ok?)
and I think that's it. I also finally saw Batman Begins.... I figured I should get it in before going to go see The Dark Knight. I liked it a lot actually, I think Bale is the best Batman since Michael Keaton. I'm trying to get my hands on the first Burton Batman, and Batman Returns, but for some reason they are really hard to get ahold of. The studio is probably planning some elaborate rerelease but i want Nicholson and the Penguin NOW!

"what the f*ck have you done lately?"

Well, since you asked: I finally saw Wanted . And I thought it was absolutely terrible, almost laughable. As an adaptation of a decent graphic novel, I had pretty high cinematic expectations that were NOT met. That said, Angelina Jolie was ridiculously hot. After careful analysis (lots of data) i have determined that not only was this a) hotter than Mr and Mrs Smith , it might just put Angie back at the top of my list. In retrospect, its rightfully hers... I mean, she was my #1 celebrity crush from high school until maybe my junior year of college, when Madonna began her reign atop my rankings. (This is all very important, by the way, and I am glad that I am spending my Thursday afternoon writing publicly about it). But back to Wanted . It was tragic. It was ideological swiss cheese. The special effects barely compensated for the corny voiceovers. I am glad that our tickets were free, although Angelina Jolie as an assassin is worth 9 bucks.

Brenna wants to get on Take Home Chef. This is why she will shop at Whole Foods, alone in the morning, when we are in Maine. Meanwhile, I would do anything to be James McAvoy (above)... if Angelina Jolie walked up to me at the checkout of Hannaford Bros, I would do whatever she asked. That said, I would be a terrible assassin, since I am a nervous tattletale. .

What else? Like I said, making memories. Our friends had a great party the other night where we got to see a lot of people we may not see before we move. We went to the beach and read next to a fishhead for a few hours (i cannot wait to go to Maine beaches. Lake Erie and all its mutant creatures terrifies me). Speaking of reading, I finally finished The Beautiful and the Damned i was getting tired of Facebook sending me mocking messages: "you've been reading this book for over a year. is this true?" Yes, Facebook, now shut up and leave me to read slowly and sporadically. After finishing that book, I've realized that my grandma's ideas are heavily influenced by Jazz Age sensibilities. In her eyes, I think I might be one of the beautiful/damned. Oh well. Better that than ugly and damned.


(we are all beautiful. jury still out re: damnation)

crisis of ideology

I normally don't believe everything I read in gossip mags or online, but seriously:

If Madonna really IS f*cking A-Rod, I don't know what I'm going to do.

heartache to heartache we stand

There is some girl screaming the lyrics to "Love Is A Battlefield" outside my house right now. And it's DAYTIME. Not that there's any rule against daytime drunkeness but geez this seems awfully dramatic. The nagging Carrie Bradshaw voice inside my head "couldn't help but wonder"...if love is a battlefield, when is it time to surrender? It seems to me that everyone around me is breaking up, and not just couples who were in september-june relationships to stay warm through the northeast winter... but couples who have put years of time and effort into making it work. I suppose I still have lots of married friends or friends in new, healthy relationships to look to as examples of romantic success, but seriously... there is too much heartbreaking going on, and i don't want my relationship to get sucked into the undertow of this trend. Luckily, B and I are pretty solid right now, especially considering all the relo-related stress.

Speaking of moving, we have the perfect apartment, we have jobs lined up, now its just a matter of getting ourselves and all our stuff there. My family seems to think that there's something dangerous about driving a Uhaul, or maybe they are just turned off by the overwhelming logistical inconvenience of planning a self-move, either way, they are adamant about us getting professional movers. I don't think we have enough stuff, or are moving a long enough distance, to warrant this kind of expense, plus, we're going to be paying more to (apparently) wait a week for our stuff to show up in ME. That is WAY more of a hassle than figuring our who is going to drive the truck and paying to book their flight back to their point of origin. If anything was going to warrant B and me to split, it would be spending 10 days living out of our suitcases with the dog and the cat on my grandparents third floor. Trust me. This has almost driven us apart before. I come from generous, intelligent, liberal lineage. However, in this particular configuration of cohabitation, one must maintain a level of submission that no one, unless your were raised in the context of my family, is able to sustain. Its kind of like Survivor. But with WASPs.

That all said... the other night we went to Kansas at the Gorge w/Liz and it was AWESOME... of course we stuck out with our big sunglasses and overall "not old and fat"-ness but we had a great time... as we sat in the parking lot waiting to get out, Liz underscored the theme of the next few weeks: "It's all about making memories"... it sounds cliche taken out of context but it's very resonant with me right now. There are people that I am really going to miss when we move, and I don't want to spend the next three weeks sitting around the house doing nothing... I want to maximize the time we have left to really have some fun. And hey, nothing spells fun like FREE KANSAS.

Carry on!

Miller light and kansas concert. Stay classy!

ch-ch-ch-changes

everyone i know seems to be going through them.

did you ever know that you're my hero?

Today, under my weekly(ish) cloud of doom and gloom, I joked that I was going do something excessively sentimental tonight, like make a photo montage in honor of Simon. I'm too lazy to make a montage (although if i DID i would use "Wind Beneath My Wings" as a slideshow soundtrack) but I did rediscover this:

as if there was any doubt i'm a WASP

The planets and hidden mechanisms of the illuminati and the all-seeing eye are aligning in some Tomb Raider/Indiana Jonesy kind of way and the master plan has been set into motion.... I'm moving into a brick building on Spring Street in a few weeks.

I'm really excited. We're really excited. We saw so many nasty, weird smelling apartments (some with no living rooms, some with no bedrooms) that we weren't very optimistic about finding a place... this was the last one we saw. Its an affordable 1 BR, but it comes with a breakfast bar, 1.5 BA, and a massive walk-in closet. A dishwasher. And TWO parking spaces... which is good, because now I don't need to explain the whole "you need a color coded neighborhood sticker and each side of the street is closed one night a week" parking system in Portland. We're hoping to not do much driving, anyway.

So.... we'll be right down the street from 'Flete, so I'm hoping Michael comes over on a regular basis to do homework and hang out. I'm smitten with this breakfast bar concept, and can't wait to have people come over for great big cups of coffee on weekend mornings. And Buffalo people... as long as you don't mind sleeping on the couch, I hope everyone comes to stay with us. I have a hard-on for Maine, and love to show people around.

no sh*t you're confused!

NOT that i have been secretly watching A Shot At Love after swearing it off forever (twice)... but I KNEW that opportunistic blonde chick wasn't half-gay from the first day in the house. I assume it was all carefully handcrafted in the name of good (or interesting) television. I just hope it wasn't for shock value, as my even dog has an acute enough gaydar to predict that the Kristytrain was definitely going to bypass the Gay Station.

sorry little buddy

Today I had to put Simon to sleep.
He was 6... ish. I've had him since I lived on Brackett St. He was with me through so much. Unfortunately, he had a chronic health problem that caused him a lot of suffering... we've treated it twice before with expensive procedures that don't cure the problem, but simply postpone more attacks. When it started again, we realized that his life was only going to become more and more miserable, and if I loved him, I had to make a selfless decision.

It was probably one of the saddest things I have ever done.
I'll miss you, fat kitty.